The early tapes
[Saskatoon, Saskatchewan]"Song" of the day: Live Not Dead - Mitch Hedberg
(Yep, definitely one track)
"I had an argument with my girlfriend in a tent. That's a bad place for an arguement, cause then I tried to walk out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up really quick? (zip, zip) 'Fuck you'."
"Sometimes I wave at people that I don't know. But it's very dangerous to wave at someone you don't know, cause what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got, mother fucker. This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up'."
"I've got a robe. But it's not really a robe. It's just a towel that fits me."
"If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up."
[Frick these are gold]
"I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."
"I say the word 'totally' way too much. I need to start saying a different word that means the same thing. 'Mitch, do you like submarine sandwiches?' 'All-encompassing-ly'."
"If you have a friend that's a tightrope walker, and you're walking down the street with him, and he falls, that would be completely unacceptable"
"Once, my friend said 'I think the weather is trippy.' and I said, 'No, man, maybe it's not the weather, maybe it's just the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy.' And then I thought: man, I shoulda just said 'ya'."
[Must stop....]
"I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shiskabob."
"I like to play tennis, but tennis is discouraging. Cause no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fuckin relentless"
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too."
"I wear loose-neck shirts. I've got a fragile neck, so I can't wear regular shirts. Especially turtle necks. If I'm wearing a turtle neck and a backpack, it feels like I'm bein strangled by a really weak guy."
I guess that's enough for now. :)
Brennan "Give it up for Chuck" Cuff
posted by Leah Wilburn @ 9:08 AM
4 Comments:
I'm voting tightrope walker as my favorite.
- sean
Oh they are all hilarious. But you have to hear them, and not read them. The way the guy delivers them is just too fuckin funny.
i've heard good thigns
someone send me it in MP3 form
:)
Solid gold I know!!! THat's what I mean I could go on forever, every single one of those were on my favorites list as well. The whole track is my favorite lol. Love it, learn em, and make me laugh! 7 days...? :)
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